And, for each chapter, there is a handy bullet-pointed list of things a husband or wife might do to fulfill the attribute previously described.ДЇinally, in the вЂњRewarded CycleвЂќ (chs. This kind of format is followed in each chapter for both the husband and the wife. The authorвЂ™s question is: вЂњDo you need a solutionвЂ¦or my ear?вЂќ and he suggests actually asking it for the sake of clarity (149). That section is followed up with the suggested solution of asking a simple question when the husband is unsure whether the wife needs him to simply listen and understand or to fix the problem. Even if she canвЂ™t articulate it in these words, your wife thinks of you as that burden bearerвЂ¦When she comes to you for understanding, it is a complimentвЂ¦But when you shut her outвЂ¦it devastates her spirit. And as a church places its burden on Christ, a wife wants to place her burdens on her husband. Remember, the husband is the Christ figure the woman is the church figure. For instance, in the chapter on вЂњUnderstandingвЂќ, Eggerichs says, For either partner, the author simply explores practical examples of why a certain attribute is necessary for the spouse, followed by practical examples of putting it in play in the marriage. For wives he offers up CHAIRS: Conquest, Heirarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality. The acronym for husbands is COUPLE: Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. 8-22) is вЂњdriven by a simple mechanism: HIS LOVE MOTIVATES HER RESPECT HER RESPECT MOTIVATES HIS LOVE (113).вЂќ Here Eggerichs supplies positive вЂњrules to followвЂќ for the husband and the wife. The author assumes that marriage between two sinful people will always have sinful troubles that can be managed and mitigated under the guidance of GodвЂ™s Word (112). An important acknowledgement the author makes repeatedly is that, because men and women are sinful humans, the вЂњCrazy CycleвЂќ will never go away completely. In these chapters he discusses the вЂњcodeвЂќ language men and women each use and how they need to decipher it the reasons why women wonвЂ™t respect and men donвЂ™t love and the fears and assumptions men and women operate under in their relationships. Wives, therefore, need to supply unconditional respect and husbands need to supply unconditional love. The вЂњCrazy CycleвЂќ (chs.1-7) expands EggerichsвЂ™ (the BibleвЂ™s) basic claim that marriage breaks down when each party doesnвЂ™t get what God intended вЂ“ wives need love, but husbands also need respect. They are: the вЂњCrazy CycleвЂќ, the вЂњEnergizing CycleвЂќ, and the вЂњRewarded CycleвЂќ. Each part is predominantly practical, exploring causes for breakdown and supplying how-toвЂ™s toward solution for each partner. This love and respect truth, and how it ought to play out in a Christian marriage, EggerichsвЂ™ explores in three cycles of marital thought and behavior. There the author finds this twofold truth: 1) husbands are to unconditionally love their wives 2) wives are to unconditionally respect their husbands. The claim Eggerichs is making in Love & Respect is that the solution to most marital problems, or at least the Biblical answer to them, is found in Ephesians 5:33. He and his wife, Sarah, live in Grand Rapids, MI and have three adult children. in child and family ecology from Michigan State University. in communications from Wheaton College, a MasterвЂ™s of Divinity from Dubuque Seminary, and a Ph.D. He began the Love and Respect Conferences in August of 1999 and, after leaving the pastorate, has focused primarily on these conferences and his writing ever since.

Eggerichs is now the president of Love and Respect Ministries. Paperback вЂ“ 324 pages.Д®merson Eggerichs is the former senior pastor of Trinity Church, East Lansing.

Nashville, TN: Nelson, Thomas Inc., 2004. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs.

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